Post by Remove on Mar 13, 2011 21:05:35 GMT -5
I wrote this little blip for a LDS Blog but I thought I'd post it here to because its kind of a big step for me and I don't really feel comfortable sharing it with friends who don't fully understand.
Long ago my mother told me not to settle. But, shes also said get married as soon as possible and try for kids 'earlier the better'. How can I be happy and marry this amazing man that will take me to the temple while not settling? How can I be happy not having kids when I'm babysitting other peoples kids? Why do my friends sometimes say they don't want kids and they have healthy bodies with fertile family history while my mother and aunts cried and worked so hard to even have 1?
I want kids. I have dreams involving future kids and going places. I've thought about how I want to preserve memories and what I want my babies birth announcement to look like. People constantly come up to me and say "You were born to be a mother." At this time in my life I don't know if I'll ever be a mother. I do know that God loves me and I'll have the opportunities to be a mother in the eternities. A mother in the eternities, I'm not sure how that works. But, I know I'll have that opportunity and by trying to be temple worthy and I can one day share the experiences of parenthood whether on earth or in heaven with a righteous priesthood holder.
I don't do anything but smile and nod to people when they say "I was born to be a mother." But, really the more I think about it they are right. I WAS born to be a mother. I was born to have my faith tested, to have challenges and overcome them. And, by overcoming these challenges I can be a mother in heaven. I may not be a mother in this life but by keeping my life in line with gospel principals I bring myself closer to my future children.
I don't have a "story" about me and my husband wanting kids. Not yet. But some day I might and by being a faithful member and I can more fully cope with this thought of earth life without kids.
Long ago my mother told me not to settle. But, shes also said get married as soon as possible and try for kids 'earlier the better'. How can I be happy and marry this amazing man that will take me to the temple while not settling? How can I be happy not having kids when I'm babysitting other peoples kids? Why do my friends sometimes say they don't want kids and they have healthy bodies with fertile family history while my mother and aunts cried and worked so hard to even have 1?
I want kids. I have dreams involving future kids and going places. I've thought about how I want to preserve memories and what I want my babies birth announcement to look like. People constantly come up to me and say "You were born to be a mother." At this time in my life I don't know if I'll ever be a mother. I do know that God loves me and I'll have the opportunities to be a mother in the eternities. A mother in the eternities, I'm not sure how that works. But, I know I'll have that opportunity and by trying to be temple worthy and I can one day share the experiences of parenthood whether on earth or in heaven with a righteous priesthood holder.
I don't do anything but smile and nod to people when they say "I was born to be a mother." But, really the more I think about it they are right. I WAS born to be a mother. I was born to have my faith tested, to have challenges and overcome them. And, by overcoming these challenges I can be a mother in heaven. I may not be a mother in this life but by keeping my life in line with gospel principals I bring myself closer to my future children.
I don't have a "story" about me and my husband wanting kids. Not yet. But some day I might and by being a faithful member and I can more fully cope with this thought of earth life without kids.