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Post by mdance on Mar 12, 2011 23:07:56 GMT -5
My life, what can I say as of right now I have more challanges and trials, than I have had in my whole life and most of them just began this week. I don't know if I can hold everything together, I am struggling and failing badly. I am having to deal with so many family problems all at the same time that will last mine and their whole lives. I have cried almost every night this week and am finding it hard to handle it all. It's like I sat down to do a project at a large table, but an earthquake is happening I more things seem to be falling off than I can catch. I don't want to talk to my parents about it because they will just say that I am a drama queen but its really hard for me right now. I can't talk to anyone about what I am going through right now because no one knows the severity of it all but me and HF. I am struggling, please help me!!!!! :'(
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Post by Remove on Mar 12, 2011 23:25:33 GMT -5
Mdance, I'll pray for you. Know that Heavenly Father loves YOU. He sent his son to die for YOU. There are angels all around us trying to lead us, guide us and help us. Keep obeying the commandments and pray for help. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. Prayer works. You didn't give a ton of detail about what exactly is going on so i can't give any specific advice but remember God is constant. His love is constant. And, he will always be there no matter how shakey everything in your life is.
Lizzy
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Mar 13, 2011 19:55:39 GMT -5
Hi there, Mdance. I'm MTW's local Try-to-be-a-good-advice-giver-but-not-really-that-good-at-it guy. I'll start off like this: HF. i'm just gonna assume this is Harrison Ford we're talking about. This means that right now you're probably either about to get chased by Germans until you find the Ark of the Covenant, or you just got frozen in Carbonite. I have little experience in both of those fields, but here's what I can reccommend: Pray to the lord for help. Pray for the challenges to go away if you want, but we were put on this Earth to have challenges in our life. When I have a challenge of some sort, I pray that I will have the knowledge and strength to pull through it, and that it will all be okay in the end. I once heard something while watching General Conference or something Churchy like that. "It will all be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end." This phrase, along with many others, has comforted me greatly in my times of struggle. I hope it can help you too. -Andrew P.S. I just remembered something else I find very helpful! Whenever my life is going greatest, or I'm happiest, or something good like that, I can almost always connect it to one reason. I am trying to be grateful. In my prayers at night, I pray for help in my challenges, I pray for blessings to my friends and those in need, and I pray thankfulness for my blessings. This is something else I reccomend: When you pray, thank the lord. Start with the blessings you can think of. Work from there. When I do this, I find I can see the blessings in my life with a lot more ease than before. Here's a few places to start: Silverware, Bedding, and the Atonement. P.P.S. I just read Jayda's advice. I've realized something. It's not that I'm bad with advice, it's that I'm bad in comparison. Silly me.
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Post by Jayda on Mar 14, 2011 12:14:58 GMT -5
First off, if you want to message me and let me know the specifics of what you're going through I may be able to help more. I've been through a lot in life, so a lot of things wouldn't shock me, and most things I'd have specific advice for.
Now, that being said, I know the exact feelings you're having. I went through that just last year, and after seven months of dilligently praying, reading the scriptures, fasting, getting priesthood blessings, reading my patriarchal blessing, attending church meetings, repenting, reading the New Era, focusing mostly/only on religious things I am finally getting through that emotional hurricane.
First thing is first. Evaluate your life. Not what others are doing around you or to you, but what YOU'RE doing. Are you doing all you can? Are you doing all you should? Are you trying? What I mean by this is, are you praying morning and night, and even in between? Are you reading your scriptures on a daily basis when you're alone? Are you listening to and watching things that are good and wholesome, or things that are considered innappropriate by church standards? When was the last time you fasted? When was the last time you had a priesthood blessing? Once you've figured all of this out it'll help you know what you need to start doing/work on, and what you already are doing.
After you've figured that out you need to work your hardest to do better. I know how that can sound/feel, especially if you're doing all it seems you're capable of doing in a time of trials. The thing you really need to remember is that when you go through difficult trials, when you have problems in your life, no matter how big or small they are, it is a time to prove to God that you trust in Him. The bigger the trial, the bigger the opportunity to prove to God that you trust in Him and His judgment.
That means that you need to do the following. Note that I'm telling you all of this assuming that you do none of it.
1) Pray. Pray with all of your might. Morning prayers will probably be the hardest because you have school to get ready for and everything, but you still need to say them, even if they're only 5-10 minutes. Get up earlier if you have to. Then, pray before you eat food and add asking for help through your struggles before you close your prayer. At night I recommend you set aside 30 minutes to an hour for personal prayers and scripture study. I find that when I feel the most connected with Heavenly Father is when I talk to Him like He's a normal person, like He's right there. God is the best person to vent to. Talk to Him like He's your daddy. He is your Heavenly Daddy. So, talk to Him and get it all out. Thank Him for things in the beginning of your prayer and then ask for things at the end. Every night when I say my prayers I find that I'm kind of repetitive in what I say, so how I try to fix that problem is by saying at least 5 things that happened that day that I'm thankful for. Pray for as long as you want/can. Pray as much as you want/need to. You can pray in between classes for strength. Pray whenever you feel the need for strength. When I went through what I did last year I found myself praying in the middle of the day without even realizing it because it had become such a habit. That's the goal for you - to make praying whenever you need help a habit.
2) Read your scriptures. I know that so far these are all "primary" answers, but they are the things that truly work. When you read your scriptures try to relate everything to your life. I recommend reading the Book of Mormon from start to finish, and looking up Hope in the Topical Guide and reading scriptures from that topic. The one chapter in all of the scriptures that really gave me peace was D&C 122. Read that. I read it every night, along with other scriptures, and my patriarchal blessing. If you have your PB I recommend reading it every single day. Morning and night is recommended, but at least at night. If you don't have it yet, I suggest you talk to your Bishop about getting it as soon as possible. Now, back to scripture study. When you're reading your scriptures try to read for at least 15 minutes. I recommend half an hour, but that's not always possible. Before you do so, say a prayer asking for the Holy Ghost to be present to guide you to scriptures that can help you. When I did this I would often have a scripture/chapter pop into my head that would then give me peace, even if just for that evening. Read your scriptures every night, and even every morning, even if only for a few minutes. Don't count family scripture study or seminary. This is all personal scripture study.
3) Fast. Fasting is one of my least favorite things to do, but even then I have a strong testimony that it works. Last year I fasted multiple times for strength and aid. Do this. Every time you fast you will grow stronger. Be specific about your needs. Then, throughout the day before you break your fast, pray to Heavenly Father about what you're fasting for. Start your fast the night before.
4) Music/Entertainment. This one may be hard to follow, but it is ultimately what helped me make true progress. It REALLY shows God how serious you are about making progress and serving Him. You have to get rid of all of the bad/dirty/inappopriate things in your life. The first thing I did while I was trying to grow spiritually stronger was get rid of all of the inappropriate music I had on my mp3 player, stopped watching and reading dirty things, and tried to focus only on spiritual stuff. Sure, I listened to Taio Cruz and David Archuleta and Taylor Swift throughout my struggles, but ultimately what I listened to the most was the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and Mormon singers such as Kenneth Cope (my favorite), Mindy Gledhill, Jenny Phillips, Tyler Castleton, etcetera. It may be hard to do/give up everything that seems to great and nice, but it's all worldly. What you have to do to really make progress is prove to God that you are willing to focus on the Heavenly and follow His commandments in order to get better. Listen to clean music, watch clean things, read clean things, and try to avoid dirty conversation. It can be difficult, especially if you have a lot of favorite songs that aren't necessarily appropriate. But it is oh-so worth it. With that being said, I totally recommend reading church books. They're so uplifting! I read To Draw Closer to God by Henry B. Eyring last year during my trials and it really helped me feel the spirit. Read books by the Apostles and Prophets, read the New Era, and read the scriptures.
5) Ask for blessings. I don't know what your home situation is, but ask for priesthood blessings from whatever adult male you trust/feel closest with. You don't have to tell them what it's about, just ask for a blessing of strength and counsel. Blessings helped give me guidance as to what God wanted me to do. Listen carefully for instruction in your blessings and follow them directly. It's God using that man as a mouth-piece to tell you what He wants and needs you to do in order to have guidance and receive all of the blessings you can have.
6) Attend church meetings. Go to church. Listen to the talks in sacrament meeting, listen to the lessons in Sunday School and your other meetings and try to gain something from each of those things. There's always something to learn. There's always a message that Heavenly Father is sending through these people that are teaching you.
7) Serve others. I believe it was President Hinckley that said that the best way to feel better about life and ourselves is by serving others. It doesn't matter how awful you have it, if you serve others you will see the blessings and you will grow and learn and you will feel happy.
8) Go to the Bishop. The Bishop isn't only there for when you mess up :] I promise, he's there for you to give you guidance and strength as a chosen leader of Zion. He was called to serve YOU when you need it. Go to him, ask for advice, tell him what's going on. He can't tell anyone anything unless you ask him to. What is said between you and him is completely confidential and he can give you great advice and strength.
9) Talk to you parents. I know that you feel they'll just say that you're a drama queen. I don't know your parents, and I don't know your relationship with them. Maybe after you read this you can shed some light on this for me, but just hear me out. They're your parents. They LOVE you. Just as Heavenly Father loves you, they love you. Whatever is going on, you need to talk to them. Sit them down on a Sunday afternoon after church and tell them that this is serious to you and that you need help getting through it. I guarantee that if you show them some emotion, if you tell them the truth about how you're feeling and how you're not dealing with this very well that they will listen and that they want to help. Parents never want their children to struggle on their own. I learned the hard way last year by keeping all of my bad feelings to myself that parents really do want to know when their kids are struggling so that they can try to help. Talk to them. If they know how serious this is for you, if you tell them how much you're crying because of it and how hurt you are, I'm sure that they will take it just as seriously as you are. I don't know your parents, so i don't know that for sure, but most parents want to know when their kids are having problems so that they can try to help.
I hope this has helped somewhat. I have more that i could've mentioned, but this was getting long, so this is a good place to start. It may seem overwhelming to try and do all of this when life itself is so overwhelming, but trust me, as you start doing all of these things you will see the blessings and you will feel life growing easier, even if it's just slowly. Trials never last. It seems hard to wrap your mind around that fact when you're in the middle of a brand new trial(s), but it is so true. Your trials will become easier to handle over time. Just trust in God and do as He asks and you will find yourself growing at peace with everything around you, even if life is still difficult sometimes. Life is never easy, but no one ever said it would be. They just said it'd be worth it.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Mar 14, 2011 16:28:06 GMT -5
My life, what can I say as of right now I have more challanges and trials, than I have had in my whole life and most of them just began this week. I don't know if I can hold everything together, I am struggling and failing badly. I am having to deal with so many family problems all at the same time that will last mine and their whole lives. I have cried almost every night this week and am finding it hard to handle it all. It's like I sat down to do a project at a large table, but an earthquake is happening I more things seem to be falling off than I can catch. I don't want to talk to my parents about it because they will just say that I am a drama queen but its really hard for me right now. I can't talk to anyone about what I am going through right now because no one knows the severity of it all but me and HF. I am struggling, please help me!!!!! :'( I'm sorry that you are having to deal with such difficult issues right now. I'll include you in my prayers and also encourage you to continue to read your scriptures and seek the Lord's support through daily prayer! If you could be more specific about these problems, we might be able to address them better through the public forum or in a private PM.
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