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Post by Jayda on Oct 15, 2010 11:54:03 GMT -5
Yeah, unfortunately it can be difficult :/ I'm trying. Thanks everyone!
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Post by Jayda on Oct 18, 2010 11:35:04 GMT -5
Well, I saw them both yesterday at Stake Conference. He didn't talk to me, but he texted me, so that's an improvement I guess? Except now I miss him (and the way things used to be) even more than before, and I thought that wasn't possible.
I feel like I've forgiven them both though, even if I'm still hurting like crazy.
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Post by Jayda on Oct 19, 2010 11:46:24 GMT -5
Well, I texting him yesterday and we had a short conversation but his responses were flat... Like, they were emotionless it seemed, like he was disconnected and didn't care to talk to me... So at this point I guess it's up to him on whether or not we talk. Because I'm trying and it's as if he's not putting forth any effort. And even though it hurts like crazy, I'm going to just let him do what he wants to.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Oct 19, 2010 22:04:03 GMT -5
Well, I texting him yesterday and we had a short conversation but his responses were flat... Like, they were emotionless it seemed, like he was disconnected and didn't care to talk to me... So at this point I guess it's up to him on whether or not we talk. Because I'm trying and it's as if he's not putting forth any effort. And even though it hurts like crazy, I'm going to just let him do what he wants to. That's what I'd do too!
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Post by Jayda on Oct 20, 2010 10:01:33 GMT -5
Haha, it's kind of funny and somewhat ironic... The day I decide to let him do what he wants and choose when we talk he texts me good morning for the first time in weeks! Maybe this is good... I sure hope so. But I'm not sure. I'm not getting my hopes too high for now.
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Post by Jayda on Oct 21, 2010 13:32:07 GMT -5
And of course he never texted me back. Ugh, why does he do this to me? Text me, or don't. Don't stop the conversation randomly. It's driving me nuts. Why do guys have to be sooo annoying?! No offense to the guys here. You guys are all awesome.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Oct 21, 2010 14:28:28 GMT -5
And of course he never texted me back. Ugh, why does he do this to me? Text me, or don't. Don't stop the conversation randomly. It's driving me nuts. Why do guys have to be sooo annoying?! No offense to the guys here. You guys are all awesome. It might have something to do with his maturity level!
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Post by Jayda on Oct 21, 2010 14:38:26 GMT -5
Haha, that's what some people have said. He really is starting to seem immature in ways. Which stinks, because he seemed... different. Gr, this is so lame!
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Post by Jayda on Oct 25, 2010 12:39:35 GMT -5
Well, I'm somewhat happy because Taylor Swift's new CD came out today and I bought the Deluxe edition! This is probably her best CD yet!
Anyway, there was more drama this weekend. It was ridiculous. I don't know what to do. He's just pushing us all away and blaming everyone else for everything. It's ridiculous, and stupid, and petty.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Oct 25, 2010 12:57:25 GMT -5
Well, I'm somewhat happy because Taylor Swift's new CD came out today and I bought the Deluxe edition! This is probably her best CD yet! Sounds nice! Too bad JT doesn't appreciate quality singing! ;D PS: I noticed that Amanda popped in last night and she is a really big Taylor Swift fan too!
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Post by Jayda on Nov 11, 2010 1:53:00 GMT -5
So, after ALL of this drama has been going on for a year and 3-4 months, and it's been getting worse over the last 2-3 months Brian and I finally started talking things out between us. I called him up randomly on Friday night and we talked for over an hour about things. I'm feeling a bit less stress now that we've talked about things, and he and I are talking more regularly now. I'm not sure how long this'll last, but we'll see!
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Post by Michael on Nov 17, 2010 18:10:34 GMT -5
I'm glad, I hope it will be good
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Post by Jayda on Nov 22, 2010 12:56:03 GMT -5
Thanks! I hope so too. I saw him twice this weekend at church stuff. He mostly hung out with Kate, of course. That hurt. I ended up crying in the bathroom at the dance, but I pulled myself together. By the end he actually came over and said hi to me and asked me to dance, which was slightly surprising to me.
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Post by Jayda on Nov 22, 2010 13:03:24 GMT -5
So, sorry I was pretty inactive last week! It was crazy busy! I went to the Harry Potter midnight release, came home at about 3:00AM and didn't get to sleep until 4:00AM cause my friend slept over, woke up at 11:00 and decided to go to a 12:05 showing of Harry Potter (yes, a second time the same day) then came home and got ready for a John Bytheway fireside! That fireside was AMAZING. I love him! :] Then after the fireside I went with my friend Nessa to see Harry Potter for the third time on opening day :] I'd say that was the best day in a loooong time. Then Saturday I was asked to be on youth committee for our stake, so I get to help plan a mini EFY that we're having next and Youth Conference and the beehive/deacon dance and all that jazz! Then right after that I had a priest/laurel activity and a dance right after that. So, despite a little bit on drama, last week was pretty awesome One of the best in a while. This week will be pretty busy too, starting tomorrow.
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Post by Michael on Nov 22, 2010 14:00:59 GMT -5
!!!, that sounds so much fun!, I haven't seen Harry Potter but would love to watch it and you saw it 3 times!. lucky lol
it's cool your on the youth committee I always wanted to be on it..
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Post by Jayda on Nov 22, 2010 18:48:39 GMT -5
It really was SOOO much fun! That was the best day in a long time I know, I'm so excited! I didn't even expect to be asked, but I guess because I've been singing around the stake like crazy they decided that I would be a good person to be on youth committee? Either way, I'm just soooo excited!!! We get to help plan a mini-EFY for next year and Brad Wilcox is going to be one of the speakers!!!!!!! I almost screamed out of excitement when they said his name. I can't even believe it! I'm soooo excited!!!!
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Post by shadow on Nov 22, 2010 21:30:36 GMT -5
whos brad wilcox? (I grew up in a completely un lds culture)
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Post by Michael on Nov 23, 2010 1:54:21 GMT -5
Yeah, idk who is he either.. i do know John ByTheWay tho
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Post by Jayda on Nov 23, 2010 17:10:44 GMT -5
He's AMAZING. He's an author. His book The Continuous Atonement is fantastic. I recommend it to everyone.
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Post by Michael on Nov 23, 2010 20:32:20 GMT -5
ah okay
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Post by Erik Slack on Nov 23, 2010 21:50:24 GMT -5
Brad Wilcox is awesome! He's friends with my favorite lecturer/ex-efy speaker Vickey P. Taylor. Not only that, but he gave FRG permission to publish some articles. They were about chastity I think. Good stuff! Oh and let me know when you finish your writing goal Jayda I have something to present to you.
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Post by Jayda on Nov 23, 2010 22:38:16 GMT -5
That's so awesome! He really is great! I'm soooooo excited I can't even explain it! Ahhhh! Haha, okay, will do! This is exciting!
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Post by Jayda on Dec 18, 2010 1:12:01 GMT -5
So, I'm trying to let go of Brian, finally. I put away the letter that he wrote me talking about how he felt about me. I deleted all of his locked texts and voicemails. I deleted the messages he sent me on Facebook. And I put away the pictures that I had of us/him.
Honestly, it hurts. I started crying as soon as I finished reading them and putting them away/deleting them. I miss him so much. I miss what we had. But it's not coming back. I doubt that it'll ever come back, even though this semester is over and he'll have much more time on his hands. He doesn't care as much as he used to. That much is clear to me now. He cares more about Kate than anyone else, because in his spare time he's with her. What we had has come and gone and as much as I want it back, it won't happen again.
Hopefully this is the right thing to do. It's really difficult. But tomorrow at the dinner and dance I'm going to go to the dinner and dance and just be normal and try to act okay. If he talks to me, fine. But I probably won't talk to him first. He hurt me, and he needs to realize that. I'm just letting go and giving up, because I'm so sick and tired of disappointment and hurt. I'm tired of crying over him and believing him and then having my hopes crushed by his stupid actions. I'm tired of having guys always choose Kate over me. I'm done with someone who would do that to me. They're not worth my time. HE'S not worth my time. If I'm not enough for him then there's no point in my sticking around, trying to pick up the pieces and glue our relationship back together.
I'm trying to stop dwelling on old memories and trying to look to the future. He's not a big part of my life anymore, no matter how much I wish he was. So either I can follow him around hoping that he'll change his mind, or I can let go and try to live my life. I think I'll go with the last option. Hopefully it's not as difficult to do as it seems right now.
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