Post by Michael on Mar 21, 2010 1:59:02 GMT -5
Hello!!, I just came home from a youth conference for the Priests/Laurels for three stakes!. It was from 10:30am-10:30pm. (I live a hour away from the conference place, our leaders wanted us out by 9:30 )
If I only have one word to tell you all how it was.. it was amzing..
As you all know my life wasn't going good.. I felt like giving up.. felt alone.. felt like the outcast.
I wanted to go to this Conference.. but I felt like it was going to suck cuz I still felt like I didn't fit in anywhere, but I went anyways... and I don't know how I can show how much I love myself for going.
My friend Spencer who was going to stay for half then go to a school dance.. he didn't had a date nor his brothers (they are triplets) I felt sooo happy they didn't.. Spencer is my only true friend and I needed him there.. I think God thought the same why cuz we were put into the same group.
We went to classes etc.. I was feeling way better.. just with having Spencer with me going to the same classes, by 4:15pm it was stack time.. (hehhe) and we ate.. then we got dress into our church clothes. Then... it was testiomy meeting, I was sitting with Specner.. I said "Are you going to share your testiomy?" He said "I'm not sure" I said the same cuz of my stuttering prob.. into the hour of the meeting.. my hands were all sweaty.. I was tapping my fingers on the bench.. knowing I needed to go up.. It was getting to the end 5:30 and it was 5:15 (we ran 30mins over)
I got up and I was shacking.. very bad.. I felt like I was going to pass out.. I got up to the mic and said this
"Hello, my name is Michael..." "I stutter, so bare with me" I looked at everyone, the only time I did.. (I think) "I'm going to talk about the spirit, the holy ghost" then I looked down at the mic.. and starting sharing my testiomy of the holy ghost. I said "One month ago, I had a feeling I should talk to a friend of mine..." stop talking for a min, couldn't make anything out.. my mouth was bone dry, started stuttering a bit then when on.. "He... wanted to kill himself" I stop talking for what felt like 4mins for me I was shacking badly.. then I got a hold of myself.. and went on.. "I started to talk to him right away right after he told me, the only thing I could do" then I went on with saying how he tried it the next night.. and his mother came in room etc.. which time I talk.. I was shacking badly, felt like crying.. stuttering came along.. but went away after I pulled myself back.. I notice a guy in the front row crying.. when I said that my friend wanted to kill himself.
After I was done I went back to my row, Spencer was doing his right after mine, the main leader who put this con togther said "Thank you" when I was walking down to my row. I saw all eyes on me.. I sat down still was shacky, hands sweaty so I grab my water and tried drinking.. my hand was shacking badly so it was hard to drink..... once Spencer came back he didn't say anything for a time... just noitcing how I was... leg going up and down.. fingers tapping... shacking, then once I clam down a little he said "Nice job, Michael" I just mainly said "mhm" the only thing I could say.
Two random girls sitting by me in the next row.. waved to me both smiling.. I gave a little wave and a smile, then I looked around me.. (I was sitting in the 2nd row) when I looked behind me a lot of ppl were all looking at me.
i'm kinda crying now lol, the last guy to get up and do his testiomy.. he talked about me.. saying how I listen to the spirit and knew something was wrong with my friend.
When the meeting was over.. It felt like everyone came to me and said "Thank you" or "Thank you, Michael for your testiomy" I mainly just said "thank you" when.... the hugs came.. I felt myself amlost crying.. I was holding the door open for all of them.. (there was like 200 youth.. maybe more then half came to me) the leaders came too..
A leader said he loved it.. and know if I listen to the spirit again and again, I can do wonders.
Then it was dinner.. wow.. ppl kept coming up to me and talking to me. then the dance... came along many many ppl who didn't say anything about my testiomy before dinner or after the meeting all came to me and talked about it. I was standing with two young women leaders from my ward, then two young women leaders from another stake came and was talking to me.. how I'm sush a great young man, how they loved my testiomy etc. the ppl who came up didn't just say it to be nice... you could see their emotions. Brother Moon who I was talking to him with Spencer walking back to the building after we did a class, got to know him pretty good.. he thinks it's awesome how I'm teaching myself German, want to go on my mission in Germany, anything.. he came up and said he loved my testiomy.
At dinner I wasn't very hungry.. so I ate a little then just walking around that was when everyone came to me.. I tried to hide from them all but they all found me in the halls or the gym(Where we were eating)
Then the dance came, a lot of ppl wanted me to hang out with them and talk to them.
Every single one even the guys who just came up and talk.. talk about my testiomy.. the guy who did his the last one who talked about me.. we talked for awhile.
young women leaders, young men leaders.. everyone came to me..
On the ride home a guy in the car was telling us how he was behind some ppl in line for dinner and they were talking about me..how much spirit I put into the room. the guy said "Michael is in my ward" and they all thought it was cool.
Ky (A Priest in my ward) said "Michael, when you stop talking after you said that.. it felt like the spirit was falling onto ppl all over the room, no one talked they all looked at you or look at the floor but all listeing"
I don't feel like a outcast.. I fit in now.. anywhere
If I only have one word to tell you all how it was.. it was amzing..
As you all know my life wasn't going good.. I felt like giving up.. felt alone.. felt like the outcast.
I wanted to go to this Conference.. but I felt like it was going to suck cuz I still felt like I didn't fit in anywhere, but I went anyways... and I don't know how I can show how much I love myself for going.
My friend Spencer who was going to stay for half then go to a school dance.. he didn't had a date nor his brothers (they are triplets) I felt sooo happy they didn't.. Spencer is my only true friend and I needed him there.. I think God thought the same why cuz we were put into the same group.
We went to classes etc.. I was feeling way better.. just with having Spencer with me going to the same classes, by 4:15pm it was stack time.. (hehhe) and we ate.. then we got dress into our church clothes. Then... it was testiomy meeting, I was sitting with Specner.. I said "Are you going to share your testiomy?" He said "I'm not sure" I said the same cuz of my stuttering prob.. into the hour of the meeting.. my hands were all sweaty.. I was tapping my fingers on the bench.. knowing I needed to go up.. It was getting to the end 5:30 and it was 5:15 (we ran 30mins over)
I got up and I was shacking.. very bad.. I felt like I was going to pass out.. I got up to the mic and said this
"Hello, my name is Michael..." "I stutter, so bare with me" I looked at everyone, the only time I did.. (I think) "I'm going to talk about the spirit, the holy ghost" then I looked down at the mic.. and starting sharing my testiomy of the holy ghost. I said "One month ago, I had a feeling I should talk to a friend of mine..." stop talking for a min, couldn't make anything out.. my mouth was bone dry, started stuttering a bit then when on.. "He... wanted to kill himself" I stop talking for what felt like 4mins for me I was shacking badly.. then I got a hold of myself.. and went on.. "I started to talk to him right away right after he told me, the only thing I could do" then I went on with saying how he tried it the next night.. and his mother came in room etc.. which time I talk.. I was shacking badly, felt like crying.. stuttering came along.. but went away after I pulled myself back.. I notice a guy in the front row crying.. when I said that my friend wanted to kill himself.
After I was done I went back to my row, Spencer was doing his right after mine, the main leader who put this con togther said "Thank you" when I was walking down to my row. I saw all eyes on me.. I sat down still was shacky, hands sweaty so I grab my water and tried drinking.. my hand was shacking badly so it was hard to drink..... once Spencer came back he didn't say anything for a time... just noitcing how I was... leg going up and down.. fingers tapping... shacking, then once I clam down a little he said "Nice job, Michael" I just mainly said "mhm" the only thing I could say.
Two random girls sitting by me in the next row.. waved to me both smiling.. I gave a little wave and a smile, then I looked around me.. (I was sitting in the 2nd row) when I looked behind me a lot of ppl were all looking at me.
i'm kinda crying now lol, the last guy to get up and do his testiomy.. he talked about me.. saying how I listen to the spirit and knew something was wrong with my friend.
When the meeting was over.. It felt like everyone came to me and said "Thank you" or "Thank you, Michael for your testiomy" I mainly just said "thank you" when.... the hugs came.. I felt myself amlost crying.. I was holding the door open for all of them.. (there was like 200 youth.. maybe more then half came to me) the leaders came too..
A leader said he loved it.. and know if I listen to the spirit again and again, I can do wonders.
Then it was dinner.. wow.. ppl kept coming up to me and talking to me. then the dance... came along many many ppl who didn't say anything about my testiomy before dinner or after the meeting all came to me and talked about it. I was standing with two young women leaders from my ward, then two young women leaders from another stake came and was talking to me.. how I'm sush a great young man, how they loved my testiomy etc. the ppl who came up didn't just say it to be nice... you could see their emotions. Brother Moon who I was talking to him with Spencer walking back to the building after we did a class, got to know him pretty good.. he thinks it's awesome how I'm teaching myself German, want to go on my mission in Germany, anything.. he came up and said he loved my testiomy.
At dinner I wasn't very hungry.. so I ate a little then just walking around that was when everyone came to me.. I tried to hide from them all but they all found me in the halls or the gym(Where we were eating)
Then the dance came, a lot of ppl wanted me to hang out with them and talk to them.
Every single one even the guys who just came up and talk.. talk about my testiomy.. the guy who did his the last one who talked about me.. we talked for awhile.
young women leaders, young men leaders.. everyone came to me..
On the ride home a guy in the car was telling us how he was behind some ppl in line for dinner and they were talking about me..how much spirit I put into the room. the guy said "Michael is in my ward" and they all thought it was cool.
Ky (A Priest in my ward) said "Michael, when you stop talking after you said that.. it felt like the spirit was falling onto ppl all over the room, no one talked they all looked at you or look at the floor but all listeing"
I don't feel like a outcast.. I fit in now.. anywhere