Post by [.alyse.] on Sept 17, 2008 17:14:07 GMT -5
This is Brian Lee Draper's story. At 16 he committed murder on a friend, on purpose. He grew up strong in the LDS church and fell away. He is now living forever in fear in a cement box because of the mistakes he made. This is what he has to say. He really is real. You can look up his story of how he planned the murder of a girl to record for a horror movie. And it wasn't till after it was done he had all this to say. Take the time to read this and NOT make the mistakes he made.
My name is Brian Lee Draper and I am in inmate at the bannock County Jail. I am 17 years old today, but I was just 16 when I was arrested and charged with crimes to heinous to speak of. My purpose in writing this is to tell you of the mistakes that I made in my life which lead me to the life I live today. I write this for those of you who are questioning your faith, or have questioned your faith in the past. Or for those of you, who have gained an unbreakable faith, let this be a reminder to you, to keep living the way you are living, and to never forget what you believe in.
Temptations arise from every direction in your life: drugs, alcohol, stealing, smoking, sexual activities, etc. It is up to you how you handle them; you can give in to them, like I have done, or you can stand strong and stay true to yourself by walking away from them. High school in particular is a time in your life when temptation will confront you continuously. That is what brings me to the topic of friendship. If you choose friends who involve themselves in harmful activities, you will be more susceptible to temptation. No matter how strong you are, when you surround yourself with the wrong people for long enough time, your morals and values which the church have given you crumble and wean away, and you will eventually yield to the temptation, once that occurs you will be more prone to involving yourself in harmful activities.
All throughout my life until I reached the ninth grade, I was an active member in the church, and my heart and soul were filled with God's love. I never though about the dark side of life. I was never interested in doing things which I knew were wrong. My life was going wonderfully. But when I entered my first year of high school I made a mistake which ended up being the catalysts of my downfall. I chose the wrong friends, and I surrounded myself with them for far too long a time. When I first met them I knew that these types of people were not the type of people I should be hanging around with, they were atheist: they were anarchist, they were full of negativity. They would tempt me with drugs and alcohol, with cigarettes and larceny. I never gave in, but as the weeks and months went by I was becoming one of them. I surrounded myself with the things they did, and the lifestyles they lived for so long that they now no longer seemed like bad things. Eventually, I gave in to their beliefs and to their lifestyle. I was now living a rebellious lifestyle full of sin and absent of Christ, and I was loving it. It was so much easier to live this way. I no longer had to fight temptation, and I no longer had to worry about sin because sin didn't exist because God didn't exist. Because of this mentality, my life had no meaning. By the beginning of my junior year I was smoking, going through cars, and my vocabulary was infected with swear words, not only that, but my belief in God was extremely diminished. This drastic turn around in my life all started with the friends I chose. That is why I cannot stress the fact to you enough how important it is to chose good friends. Choose friends with the same morals, and values as you, and they will help you rise up to your full potential. Friends can help you or friends can hurt you. Friends can lift you up, or drag you down.
I know what you are going through because I have been there, and I have made those mistakes. That is why I am writing this. To tell you to keep as far away from the bad things in life, and know what they are. Never let go, or even lighten your grip on the iron rod. Letting go will lead you to nothing but pain. You will be lost, and you will have to find your way back. But if you never let go you will never lose yourself. God will show you who you are because when you have Christ in your life and in your heart, all of your beauty will shine, and you will be the best person that you are capable of being. High school and teenage years are extremely tough years, but they will pass, and you will thank God that you never gave in to the temptation. Your youth is a small part of your life, so hold out until the end. Life will not necessarily get much easier after your teenage years have passed, but you will be matured, and your faith will be matured. You will be successful if you live a life in Christ. He will give you nothing that you can't handle. You can ruin your life and your future by the mistakes that you makes in your youth. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way. I turned my back on my heavenly father, and every night while I sit on a metal bed in a concrete cell, I wish I hadn't/ If I would have had God in my life I can say honestly I would not be in the situation I am in. So many of my elders tried to tell me that way I was living was wrong, but I would always ignore their friendly advice. In my mind what I was doing wasn't wrong. I was just being a teenager. Nothing would happen to me.
When my best friend from school comes to visit me at the jail, I look into his eyes and see the old me. I see everything that I once was. I see such foolishness, such naiveté. I now realize how stupid was to be atheist. I was stupid for living the way I was. My friend es beginning to use drugs and drink alcohol. He is failing school and is in jeopardy of not graduating. He still caries all the same beliefs which I used to carry, and his life is going nowhere, because he has denied Christ, and is still surrounding himself with desolate people. So many teens are living as my friend is living, not realizing what the lifestyle will lead to a life on the street, prison, or dead.
I know from firsthand experience that nothing that Satan has put here on this earth has the ability to impact our life in a positive way. Living a life absent Christ seems enjoyable at first, but it will lead you to nothing but pain and sorrow.
Remember; it all starts small. Small sins will lead to larger sins. Think of a snowball rolling down a hill. The snowball represents you life, the snow is sin. As the snowball roles down the hill more and more is added upon it. It gets larger and larger until it reaches the bottom of the hill and smashes to pieces. If you begin sinning here and there- off and on- the sins will start adding up. And growing. When you are full of sin you will reach the bottom, and your world will crumble.
Many youth today think of going to church and studying scriptures as a chore. You should be fervent in your scripture study. You should have a desire to learn more and more about your father in heaven, and in the gospel. Church, the scriptures, prayer, church activities; these are all tools to help you live a better life.
Some of you might think the church has to many rules. These are not rules, not participating in drugs or alcohol, keeping the sabbath day holy, dressing appropriate, not lying, cheating, stealing, or swearing, not engaging in prematital sex; all of these subjects of advice. The church and the Lord have created these subjects of advice to help you live a better life, and to rise up to your full potential. None of these things can help you in attaining your maximum potential. That is why God and the church have asked you not to do them. It was Fulton J. Sheen who wrote: "Our Lord did not ask us to give up the things of Earth, but to exchange them for better things".
Remember mortality is but a small part of our existence. Your life on this earth is a test, a test to see if you are worthy of someday again living with your heavenly father.
So live each day with the fullness of the Lord and his gospel within your heart. When temptations arise strike them down.. Your heavenly father will always be there for you. He will never leave you, so never leave him.
There is a little poem I found in a book entitles; "Where Eagles Rest". It goes as follows: "There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent, or hinder, or control the firm resolve of a determined soul".
So with this statement, be determined to be the best, most righteous person you can be. Be determined to rise up to your full potential, and live a life of Christ, so you may someday live with him again. Do not allow evil to hinder your plan to reach heaven. Evil knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there.
I wish you all the best of luck in life. Please do no make the same mistakes I have made, and please"..Look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal: but the things which are not seen are eternal. ( Corinthians 24:18 )
With nothing but love and sincerity,
Your friend, Brian Lee Draper inmate:148332
My name is Brian Lee Draper and I am in inmate at the bannock County Jail. I am 17 years old today, but I was just 16 when I was arrested and charged with crimes to heinous to speak of. My purpose in writing this is to tell you of the mistakes that I made in my life which lead me to the life I live today. I write this for those of you who are questioning your faith, or have questioned your faith in the past. Or for those of you, who have gained an unbreakable faith, let this be a reminder to you, to keep living the way you are living, and to never forget what you believe in.
Temptations arise from every direction in your life: drugs, alcohol, stealing, smoking, sexual activities, etc. It is up to you how you handle them; you can give in to them, like I have done, or you can stand strong and stay true to yourself by walking away from them. High school in particular is a time in your life when temptation will confront you continuously. That is what brings me to the topic of friendship. If you choose friends who involve themselves in harmful activities, you will be more susceptible to temptation. No matter how strong you are, when you surround yourself with the wrong people for long enough time, your morals and values which the church have given you crumble and wean away, and you will eventually yield to the temptation, once that occurs you will be more prone to involving yourself in harmful activities.
All throughout my life until I reached the ninth grade, I was an active member in the church, and my heart and soul were filled with God's love. I never though about the dark side of life. I was never interested in doing things which I knew were wrong. My life was going wonderfully. But when I entered my first year of high school I made a mistake which ended up being the catalysts of my downfall. I chose the wrong friends, and I surrounded myself with them for far too long a time. When I first met them I knew that these types of people were not the type of people I should be hanging around with, they were atheist: they were anarchist, they were full of negativity. They would tempt me with drugs and alcohol, with cigarettes and larceny. I never gave in, but as the weeks and months went by I was becoming one of them. I surrounded myself with the things they did, and the lifestyles they lived for so long that they now no longer seemed like bad things. Eventually, I gave in to their beliefs and to their lifestyle. I was now living a rebellious lifestyle full of sin and absent of Christ, and I was loving it. It was so much easier to live this way. I no longer had to fight temptation, and I no longer had to worry about sin because sin didn't exist because God didn't exist. Because of this mentality, my life had no meaning. By the beginning of my junior year I was smoking, going through cars, and my vocabulary was infected with swear words, not only that, but my belief in God was extremely diminished. This drastic turn around in my life all started with the friends I chose. That is why I cannot stress the fact to you enough how important it is to chose good friends. Choose friends with the same morals, and values as you, and they will help you rise up to your full potential. Friends can help you or friends can hurt you. Friends can lift you up, or drag you down.
I know what you are going through because I have been there, and I have made those mistakes. That is why I am writing this. To tell you to keep as far away from the bad things in life, and know what they are. Never let go, or even lighten your grip on the iron rod. Letting go will lead you to nothing but pain. You will be lost, and you will have to find your way back. But if you never let go you will never lose yourself. God will show you who you are because when you have Christ in your life and in your heart, all of your beauty will shine, and you will be the best person that you are capable of being. High school and teenage years are extremely tough years, but they will pass, and you will thank God that you never gave in to the temptation. Your youth is a small part of your life, so hold out until the end. Life will not necessarily get much easier after your teenage years have passed, but you will be matured, and your faith will be matured. You will be successful if you live a life in Christ. He will give you nothing that you can't handle. You can ruin your life and your future by the mistakes that you makes in your youth. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way. I turned my back on my heavenly father, and every night while I sit on a metal bed in a concrete cell, I wish I hadn't/ If I would have had God in my life I can say honestly I would not be in the situation I am in. So many of my elders tried to tell me that way I was living was wrong, but I would always ignore their friendly advice. In my mind what I was doing wasn't wrong. I was just being a teenager. Nothing would happen to me.
When my best friend from school comes to visit me at the jail, I look into his eyes and see the old me. I see everything that I once was. I see such foolishness, such naiveté. I now realize how stupid was to be atheist. I was stupid for living the way I was. My friend es beginning to use drugs and drink alcohol. He is failing school and is in jeopardy of not graduating. He still caries all the same beliefs which I used to carry, and his life is going nowhere, because he has denied Christ, and is still surrounding himself with desolate people. So many teens are living as my friend is living, not realizing what the lifestyle will lead to a life on the street, prison, or dead.
I know from firsthand experience that nothing that Satan has put here on this earth has the ability to impact our life in a positive way. Living a life absent Christ seems enjoyable at first, but it will lead you to nothing but pain and sorrow.
Remember; it all starts small. Small sins will lead to larger sins. Think of a snowball rolling down a hill. The snowball represents you life, the snow is sin. As the snowball roles down the hill more and more is added upon it. It gets larger and larger until it reaches the bottom of the hill and smashes to pieces. If you begin sinning here and there- off and on- the sins will start adding up. And growing. When you are full of sin you will reach the bottom, and your world will crumble.
Many youth today think of going to church and studying scriptures as a chore. You should be fervent in your scripture study. You should have a desire to learn more and more about your father in heaven, and in the gospel. Church, the scriptures, prayer, church activities; these are all tools to help you live a better life.
Some of you might think the church has to many rules. These are not rules, not participating in drugs or alcohol, keeping the sabbath day holy, dressing appropriate, not lying, cheating, stealing, or swearing, not engaging in prematital sex; all of these subjects of advice. The church and the Lord have created these subjects of advice to help you live a better life, and to rise up to your full potential. None of these things can help you in attaining your maximum potential. That is why God and the church have asked you not to do them. It was Fulton J. Sheen who wrote: "Our Lord did not ask us to give up the things of Earth, but to exchange them for better things".
Remember mortality is but a small part of our existence. Your life on this earth is a test, a test to see if you are worthy of someday again living with your heavenly father.
So live each day with the fullness of the Lord and his gospel within your heart. When temptations arise strike them down.. Your heavenly father will always be there for you. He will never leave you, so never leave him.
There is a little poem I found in a book entitles; "Where Eagles Rest". It goes as follows: "There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent, or hinder, or control the firm resolve of a determined soul".
So with this statement, be determined to be the best, most righteous person you can be. Be determined to rise up to your full potential, and live a life of Christ, so you may someday live with him again. Do not allow evil to hinder your plan to reach heaven. Evil knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there.
I wish you all the best of luck in life. Please do no make the same mistakes I have made, and please"..Look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal: but the things which are not seen are eternal. ( Corinthians 24:18 )
With nothing but love and sincerity,
Your friend, Brian Lee Draper inmate:148332