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Mar 16, 2010 1:21:39 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Mar 16, 2010 1:21:39 GMT -5
Before I say anything, I know I been posting stuff like this latetly, but I can't deal with it anymore.
As I go to youth group, dances, church. I feel sush a outcast.. I don't fit in anywhere.
Everytime I go to sunday school it's always the same... sit by myself, read when I get ask, and I learned to deal with it... but yesterday it was just worse...
Sitting in the chair I always sit in. looking down at the floor for more then most of the time.. I felt like crying right there in class. I cover my face so I couldn't see anyone.. just looking at the floor...
It's getting really hard to just deal with it now... no one ever talk to me there, and if I even start talking to them they don't like it... just like at dances. When I dance the person I'm dancing with doesn't look at me when she talks.. I notice that when they dance with others they are laughing and talking.. when they dance with me it's like "Oh, dear Lord... please make the song end soon" and for the few who do come up and ask me to dance cuz I'm sitting by myself. once they get to know me it will just be like the same... after the 2nd or 3rd week they stop talking.. don't even want to do anything about me.
Everything pass by me after the hours of it happending... or even the next day but it's going to be the 3rd day in like a hour.. and I'm not feeling one bit happy..
I thought about going to the Bishop and talk about it... but one of his kid is in my class.. she's just like the rest.. doesn't want anything to do with me.
I keep all my emotions inside of me.. it's just how I dealt with it.. I don't even talk to my mom about it.. I feel like running away.. running away from everything.. from the world... from life.
A guy from ward choir who's name is Aaron.. his a year older then me.. but after we work on choir then him then all the young men sing a song, which they will be singing in church... and guess what.. I'm the only one who isn't in it..
I'm tried of it all... can't hide my emotions anymore.. I about cried when my mom talked to me a few mins ago when i was on computer... she didn't notice which was good... in my mind...
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Mar 16, 2010 17:28:25 GMT -5
Post by hockeydude on Mar 16, 2010 17:28:25 GMT -5
Well bottling it up isn't a good idea. It's okay to be vulnerable. If it's bottling you to the point of tears I would talk to your mom and dad at the least. If that doesn't do the trick I don't think talking to your bishop is a bad idea. He's not going to be like," You're accusing my daughter of ignoring you?! Out of my office!" When he is in his office his calling is his first priority, and he is going to help you. Even if you don't bring it up he might ask if his daughter is ignoring you. Answer truthfully.
Okay, these dances. You're giving me the impression that you don't talk much when you dance. Now answer this truthfully. Do you feel like you're being a burden when you ask or get asked to dance? Because if you assume you are when you're not and act conservative, well, yeah. Of course there's not going to be a conversation. If it takes false confidence, use it. That's a key to conversation.
I know how it is to feel down. I'm really discouraged right now because I'm running horribly in track and I am very, very competitive. I know it's not the same situation but it places the fault on yourself. So here's what I've decided to do for track and what you should do for each of your problems:
- Pick your head up. Something's a bit off and all we need to do is fix it. - Find out why what's happening is happening. Pay attention to how everything goes. - Pay attention to the people who are doing things right. Observe what they're doing. - Take things in stride. Everything's not going to be better in one day. But you can get closer every day.
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Mar 16, 2010 17:35:28 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Mar 16, 2010 17:35:28 GMT -5
Thank you.
And about the dance and burden thing, the answer is no. I do ask them qusetions but a lot of ppl these days just look at the person from the outside not inside.
There been few dances where I danced with ppl and we laugh and talk like threw the whole song.
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Mar 17, 2010 17:10:07 GMT -5
Post by Erik Slack on Mar 17, 2010 17:10:07 GMT -5
Miky, I know exactly how you're feeling. Your situation may be different, but I think that you and I are a lot alike. I went through a period of my life where it felt like I was looked down on by my peers. I thought I must be ugly because none of the girls liked me. And I felt stupid because I was struggling in my math and science classes and the teachers didn't care. It turned out that I was wrong on all three accounts. I actually had a lot of good friends, people who, when I needed their help with stuff, came through for me. I also found out that I wasn't ugly, it was just that the girls were as insecure as I was and that they were just waiting for someone to ask them out on a date. To top it all off, I graduated HS with a fairly good GPA and did pretty well on the standardized tests. I've been accepted to my university of choice and now I'm earning money and saving for a mission. There are rough patches in all of our lives, Miky. The truth is that most of your's and my pain is self-inflicted. We doubt ourselves because we imagine ourselves as less than we really are, but you know what, it still doesn't change the fact that you and I are awesome people, devilishly handsome, and last but not least children of a loving Heavenly Father. You have the potential to become even like God, Miky! Besides, more people care about you than ya know, and so long as you don't lose sight of the people who really matter in your life, then you'll be okay. You've just gotta do your best and remember that good times are right around the corner. Try concentrating on the positive things in life and you'll find that you have much to be grateful for.
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Mar 17, 2010 18:53:46 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Mar 17, 2010 18:53:46 GMT -5
Thanks Erik,
Yes, I can see how we relate.. today it isn't as bad.. going threw my life as best as I can now. I do imagine myself lest then I really am.. I try not to but it's hard at times. thanks for what you said.
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Mar 31, 2010 9:10:58 GMT -5
Post by Sayari's other half on Mar 31, 2010 9:10:58 GMT -5
I know I'm a little late on here.. But I know a girl in YSA who has an awesome solution.In her room,on her door she has a piece of paper that says 'I am Gorgeous' and she sees it everyday!So this helps boost confidence too!
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Mar 31, 2010 18:03:48 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Mar 31, 2010 18:03:48 GMT -5
Ah, maybe I can do somethng like that.. not gorgeous tho xD, but I get where your coming from.
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Apr 1, 2010 19:31:13 GMT -5
Post by shadow on Apr 1, 2010 19:31:13 GMT -5
how about funny? Cause most of the stuff that you say makes me laugh
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Apr 1, 2010 22:00:56 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 1, 2010 22:00:56 GMT -5
Really, like what sutff?, lol.
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Apr 5, 2010 10:14:57 GMT -5
Post by Sayari's other half on Apr 5, 2010 10:14:57 GMT -5
Whatever floats your boat! It could consist of a number of things...'I am Interesting' or 'I am worth my weight in gold' or 'I am handsome'! anything you like,or may want to improve on!
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Apr 5, 2010 10:49:58 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 5, 2010 10:49:58 GMT -5
okay, thanks
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Apr 5, 2010 14:52:16 GMT -5
Post by shadow on Apr 5, 2010 14:52:16 GMT -5
Really, like what sutff?, lol. stuff like that, while it didnt make me laugh out loud it did make me smile and it did put me in a better mood, (I just had ants attack my laptop so Im not all happy and giddy today)
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Apr 5, 2010 23:42:25 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 5, 2010 23:42:25 GMT -5
Ah, how did ants attack your laptop?, did you took it away from them after you said they could use it?
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Apr 10, 2010 17:20:43 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 10, 2010 17:20:43 GMT -5
Before I say anything, I know I been posting stuff like this latetly, but I can't deal with it anymore. As I go to youth group, dances, church. I feel sush a outcast.. I don't fit in anywhere. Everytime I go to sunday school it's always the same... sit by myself, read when I get ask, and I learned to deal with it... but yesterday it was just worse... Sitting in the chair I always sit in. looking down at the floor for more then most of the time.. I felt like crying right there in class. I cover my face so I couldn't see anyone.. just looking at the floor... You shouldn't want to cry over it, I know what you're going through, but if they don't want to talk to you, they just aren't worth it! I'll probably quote other parts of what you wrote because I have different things to say in different areas of it.
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Apr 10, 2010 17:25:42 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 10, 2010 17:25:42 GMT -5
It's getting really hard to just deal with it now... no one ever talk to me there, and if I even start talking to them they don't like it... just like at dances. When I dance the person I'm dancing with doesn't look at me when she talks.. I notice that when they dance with others they are laughing and talking.. when they dance with me it's like "Oh, dear Lord... please make the song end soon" and for the few who do come up and ask me to dance cuz I'm sitting by myself. once they get to know me it will just be like the same... after the 2nd or 3rd week they stop talking.. don't even want to do anything about me. Girls don't wanna talk, that's their problem not yours, obviously you're just not meant to be with them, also if a girl doesn't look at you sometimes it's just that she's shy, and the guy that she goes and dances with and laughs and looks at, she might know him better. From now on, don't ask girls that are in packs and look like they have friends, look for the girl who is sitting alone on the sidelines, most likely she is hoping that some guy will come and ask her to dance. also an addition to my first post, Mormons (at least the ones in our Ward) are supposed to make EVERYONE feel welcome.
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Apr 15, 2010 18:39:28 GMT -5
Post by shadow on Apr 15, 2010 18:39:28 GMT -5
now where did you get that tori?
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Apr 15, 2010 20:22:49 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 15, 2010 20:22:49 GMT -5
get what?
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Apr 15, 2010 22:23:16 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 15, 2010 22:23:16 GMT -5
About asking the girls to dance, being shy, girl sitting by herself, etc
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Apr 16, 2010 12:09:47 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 16, 2010 12:09:47 GMT -5
Because it's true! if a girl is sitting by herself, most of the time she's too shy to ask a guy, or either taking a rest or is waiting for a guy to ask her to dance :] I would know, I'm a girl.
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Apr 16, 2010 12:27:07 GMT -5
Post by Jayda on Apr 16, 2010 12:27:07 GMT -5
I agree! I'm the same way! Haha. I'm generally too shy to ask guys to dance, so I don't really dance a lot unless the guys ask me.
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Apr 16, 2010 13:09:24 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 16, 2010 13:09:24 GMT -5
I agree! I'm the same way! Haha. I'm generally too shy to ask guys to dance, so I don't really dance a lot unless the guys ask me. see?! I just don't ask guys to dance, I'm too traditional i guess, but if a guy asked me to dance i did, and (this only happened once cuz i didn't know i wasn't supposed to) once a guy asked me to dance with him twice (I wanted someone else to ask me) so I said I was sitting that one out (no other guy asked that song anyways, but I did realize if a guy did, I would have made that guy feel really really bad :/)
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Apr 16, 2010 13:14:02 GMT -5
Post by Jayda on Apr 16, 2010 13:14:02 GMT -5
I'm too traditional too. My friend, Mandy gets onto me a lot about how you need to make your own fun, but the GUYS are supposed to ask the girls to dance unless it's a Sady Hawkins dance. Not the other way around.
At once dance in a different stake this guy asked me to dance 6-7 times. It was annoying and creeped me out, to the point where I'd hide, or I'd ask my friends to step in for me. So don't over-do it, guys xD
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Apr 16, 2010 14:54:31 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 16, 2010 14:54:31 GMT -5
6-7 times?, wow.
I tend to ask girls to dance if they are sitting by themself.. but it depends.
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Apr 16, 2010 15:38:46 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 16, 2010 15:38:46 GMT -5
onnn??
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Apr 16, 2010 16:02:41 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 16, 2010 16:02:41 GMT -5
If they give me a werid look or something, I don't try to ask
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Apr 16, 2010 16:15:19 GMT -5
Post by Jayda on Apr 16, 2010 16:15:19 GMT -5
Yeah, 6-7 times... About 4 of those times were IN A ROW. Actually, a couple of times he didn't even ask me - he just forced me, which was the deal breaker. I mentioned it to him that it was improper to force a girl to dance (jokingly, of course) and that was when he started asking me again.
I can understand that. But even then you might want to try. They might be giving a weird look about something else they just saw and happened to look your way. Who knows? I do that sometimes on accident.
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Apr 16, 2010 18:18:02 GMT -5
Post by hockeydude on Apr 16, 2010 18:18:02 GMT -5
6-7 times?!?
If I dance with the same person twice it's either because there's like a vibe or if a girl makes it awkward for me to not ask. Holy cow I would have my friends start to make a wall lol. Was the guy at least an interesting character or was it completely awkward?
And the guys are supposed to ask the girl to dance, I normally don't have a problem with it, but sometimes we're having an off day or you run into one who's just as shy as you are. So don't be afraid to ask either. Like it's not embarassing for them at all to get asked, it's almost a statement haha.
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Apr 16, 2010 19:02:05 GMT -5
Post by Equinox3100 on Apr 16, 2010 19:02:05 GMT -5
On the way home after dances all the girls in the same car ALWAYS ask, "so how many guys did YOU dance with tonight, Tori?" and then I answer and ask someone else the same question.. It doesn't really matter that she doesn't exactly LIKE dancing with a guy, BUT if she remembers your name that's a good sign (it means that you at least left an impression) I actually remember all the guys I have danced with.. like the first guy I ever danced with at a church dance was Thomas (J.T., you know who I'm talking about, and I'm not too happy that you asked him to dance with me again!) *note to ALL guys on here: NEVER, I repeat, NEVER! tell another guy to dance with a girl.. some girls feel that if a guy really wants to dance with her, he will ask, not be told to ask! >:/
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Apr 16, 2010 19:49:17 GMT -5
Post by Michael on Apr 16, 2010 19:49:17 GMT -5
I hate it when leaders come up and say "Hey, there's a girl right over there, why don't you ask her to dance?" then the whole time dancing is awkward.
jw, you and J.T live in same ward or stake?
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Apr 16, 2010 20:52:48 GMT -5
Post by Jayda on Apr 16, 2010 20:52:48 GMT -5
Eric - No. It was awkward for me. Partly because he was forcing me some of the time, and because he held me so close. Ugh. Levi actually got me off the hook a couple of times (that guy was Levi's friend) and asked me to danced before that guy could. He'd come over to ask me and my friends would take his dance for me! Haha. I have to disagree with Equinox3100 (I'm sorry, I don't know your name ) - if a guy tells/asks you to dance with some girl, DO IT. I'd be happy to dance with any guy that ASKS me to dance and have them been told/asked to ask me then not dance at all. If you don't think it's appropriate, don't tell them that your friend said that or whatever. I mean, you don't have to tell them that your friend asked you to do so. Just do it! I'd rather be asked to dance then not because then I feel like I'm not just a wall flower or something. Michael - sometimes you have to deal with that awkwardness to get to the great person that's out there for you. You know? You have to go through trials, and dates, and girls and guys being mean to be prepared for and to find that one girl that needs you and vice versa. What if one of the girls that had that funny look on her face when you asked her ends up beign your soulmate? Just saying
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