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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Jan 28, 2008 1:33:18 GMT -5
Alyse, I LOVE YOU SIS!!!! , dont ever forget that Just remember that Amber, Jenni and Erin all love you unconditionally! We give free hugs too!
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Oct 15, 2009 21:13:27 GMT -5
Okay, my turn to whine!
I am tired. I am tired of the people who pester me. Who pick on me. Who make fun of how I dress. Who point out I might wear the same clothes for two days in a row. (Disgusting, i know, but we can't all always have clean laundry, now can we?) Who constantly make jokes about me, at which I laugh. I laugh because they are funny, and that makes me smile. The smile just hides the sadness I want them to see. I am mad. I am mad that one cannot speak thier mind in this world without getting pushed down, insulted, or called gay. I am mad that I cannot complement my friends without the latter. I am mad that I cannot overcome this problem. I am sad that I have this problem in my life. I hate how almost everyone around me has all these talents, and yet it seems I have none. I can write. I can notice things about people that most don't. And then when I point them out, people either yell at me, call me gay, or just inch away, all creeped out. Only sometimes does it actually turn our okay. I can play badmitton. And yet, there is no Junior Varsity Badmitton team, or a community one, or anything like that. Tennis, Cricket, Baseball, Basketball, Soccer, and Football get all the glory. The lesser sports get none. I like to sing. I love singing. I love singing in public. I hate when people yell at me when I sing in public. I hate when they comment on my singing. I hate how they say 'you have the will.' And nothing else. I hate how people get grossed out by me. I hate how people just can't accept me for who I am. I hate it. Absoloutley despise it. I hate how no one ever wants to read anything I make. I hate how I am so talkative, and no one wants to listen to me. Or rather, I just hate how I am so talkative. I hate how I cannot focus on a topic unless it is very very interesting to me for much mroe than 10 minutes. I hate how I can barely do 50 push ups in a row. And they aren't even full ones. More like half-push ups. I hate how I always loose my train of thought, and how people are always too busy for me. I hate how my parents didn't pay much attention to us kids when we were younger. And now my brother is a tyranical dictator who has to have everything his way. I hate his bipolar disorder. I hate his ADHD. Oddly enough, I'm slightly thankful for my SOJIA. I hate how I am so different from everybody and how so many point it out And use it against me. I hate it. I hate how I stand up for people, complement them, and act like a great friend to them. And then they treat me horribly. They make fun of me and pick at me, almost always going through the secret weak spots in that shield around my heart that keeps them from hurting it. I hate how perverted my friends are. I hate how they are always rubbing off on me. I hate how there is no one at my school who I have classes with Who I can hang out with Who would be a good influence on me. I hate how people think I'm fashioned challenged. I hate how I'm one of few people who likes to care and to cry For those in need or in times of woe... And why others tease me for doing so. I hate how I'm a poet, and yet everyone disgraces my rhyming and rhythmical talent. I hate how we just can't cry in public. I hate how we, unless a female in middle or highschool, cannot just say that another person looks good today. I hate it. Despise it. I hate how I seem to always repeat everything. And can't find the words for how I feel or what I see or what I think. I hate addictions. I hate how my best friend hurts me emotionally. I hate how one of my best friends hurts me physically. I hate how I always have to be a hidden cesspool of pain and despair. I hate how I am only stricken with my problem after school. I hate how I can't trust myself at times. I hate how I have to hurt myself at times to keep myself from doing things. I hate Satan. I hate temptation. I hate his 'angels'. I hate H-E-Double hockeystick. I hate how I can't just say some words, to get across just how much I mean something. I hate how I am stuck in the goody two shoes catagory, who will always tell when someone breaks the rules. I am glad, though, that I am known as that, because it keeps people from breaking the rules when they are near. I hate how my family is never together for much. I hate how we have stopped doing family prayer. I hate how my older brohter refuses to do family prayer, how my mother always misses it, how my sister can never hear anyone, and how my dad is always missing it as well. I hate how we no longer have family scripture time. I hate how we never really had family home evening. I hate how our version of family time is watching a movie, and yelling whenever someone walks infront of the screen, or talks. I hate how I have to get a painful injection each and every day. I hate how my creativity and talents are constantly dampered and how whenever I speak normal for me, using words most don't, people make fun of me. I hate how whenever I speak and need to make people think, they give me weird stares. I hate how people stare just the same whenever I, with my limited choices, dress waht I qualify as fashionable. I hate how I was so addicted to roleplaying that I passed up the chance to learn to play the violin, the greatest of all string instruments. I hate how I never got to know my Great Grandfather before he died. I hate how the music you get off of the LDS website never really is understandable. For the most part, I hate puberty. I hate how I am ready to grow up, and yet I have to wait. I hate how I am so impatient. I hate it. I hate curiosity for the bad. I hate having curiosity for the bad and fobidden. I hate how sinning is so easy And going down the straight and narrow path is harder than it seems. I hate how when I repent, it never really feels like I've repented. I hate how good I am at finding the bad. I hate how I basically only have 4 talents, 3 of which were mentioned earlier, the last being able to type fast. I hate how I was raised. I hate how my parents never taught me to clean up aftermyself, and now I have a horribly messy house Andhow that impacts my social life and how I am never allowd to invite friends over and how that somehow slowly makes them not want to invite me over. I hate what I have done via roleplaying. I hate it. I hate how my mind works And how no one can ever get the connections I make And even after explained, they don't get it. I hate how no one really ever tells me what I want to know. How I ask my parents a question, and they won't answer it, but another question that I was not thinking. For example, where I do put the so-and-so? Their reply is explaining how it works. How I ask my friends what I should do, and then they tell me its my life and I should decide. And how they jsut don't get that if I could decide, I wouldn't be asking them. How when I ask people if something I did or made was any good, and they always reply in a two-word answer. I hate how when I ask them why, they give me a three word answer. I hate how people are too scared to say what they want. I hate how bad the world's population is. I hate how the holy Ghost never really seems to take the time to make his promptings noticeable by me. I hate how I can go up to a random stranger and complement them, but I can't go up to anyone I know personally and do the same. I hate how I can speak about pretty much anything without embarassment But I can't even hide the fact that I have a slight crush on my best (and female) friend. I hate how no one will ever go and do what we did when children, and go play in the fields during lunch break (Yeah, I'm in middle school.) I hate how everyone thinks that Hide-and-go-seek is a kid's game, and kid's only. Its not. Its a game of skill and strategy, and quick thinking. I hate how everything in life is so expensive And yet I cannot seem to get paid for my work, nor find any sorts of jobs to do. I hate how people think adultery in the world is good or okay. I hate the natural man. I hate when I succumb to his promptings, and do not go with the correct paths. I hate how I have to go to the bathroom. I hate how there is so much meaning behind that, yet I cannot say what. I hate how secrets are always so hard to keep. I hate how when I get onto the internet, everyone is always older than me, and when they talk about stuff, I don't understand, and then they have to explain it. I hate how they will make fun of my squeaky voice. I hate the fact that my medicines slow my growth. I hate how I have to take my medicine or else I will die or lived a deformed and painful life. I hate how... oh wait. I think I'm all out of complaints.
^_^ Wow. I feel.... amazingly great!
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Oct 15, 2009 21:58:01 GMT -5
0.0 Whoa. I have a LOT to whine about.
And Alyse, even thouh I have never met you or talked to you, and I don't understand how you feel that well, I am deeply sorry for you. D:> And even though, once again, I really have no idea who you are, I and the Lord both love you.
Never forget that.
A total and random stranger loves you.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Oct 16, 2009 4:40:28 GMT -5
Well, I'm glad that you're feeling better now!
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Oct 16, 2009 17:24:50 GMT -5
As am I. ^_^ *is abnormally cheery, and even for me, thats saying something*
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Oct 16, 2009 22:52:23 GMT -5
As am I. ^_^ *is abnormally cheery, and even for me, thats saying something* Great! I'm happy like 24/7 qnd love it!
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Oct 16, 2009 23:23:49 GMT -5
I concur! Happiness is the greatest of all attributes!! ...Unless you have endless amounts of exuberance... then you calm would be the greatest. XD Heh. Yeah... bad joke.
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Post by shadow on Oct 19, 2009 18:51:08 GMT -5
no wonder I thought we would be good friends, almost everything youve mentioned described my life, dont worry just keep being mature and keep being a good latterdaysaint and your peers will catch up.
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Oct 19, 2009 22:41:54 GMT -5
Whoa! Thats really cool, Shadow! ^_^ Dontcha worry, I will! (or at least try veeeeerrryyy hard.....) But yeah. My 'peers' (as you say) are slowly catching up. ^_^ They've started to be generally nicer and less sweary. ...Am I the only one noticing how many smileys I use...? XD
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Post by shadow on Oct 20, 2009 14:34:19 GMT -5
lol No your not but it lightens the mood, We can tell when something is wrong when you dont use them as well
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Post by Andrew the Penguin on Oct 20, 2009 21:27:09 GMT -5
Well thats oddly helpful to know. ^_^ *pats Shadow on head* I don't know why, but talking with you makes me feel special/better.
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Post by Jayda on Dec 9, 2009 13:38:32 GMT -5
i vote we make a section. for everyone to just whine. cause i learned in seminary whinning is a good thing once in awhile. i want to whine so badly right now. I NEVER do i always look on the bright side of things. so here is my one moment of weakness where i get to complain about everything and none of you can say anything about it! my moment to be 5 years old!!! cause i act so much older then i really am its my turn to say what i want!!! im sick and tired... of everytime i get some happiness in my life something comes out of no where and reuines it for me. im sick of trying my hardest in everything i do AND ITS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH! im never enough! im useless im sick of wanting to cry all the time. but hiding behind a smile im sick of following every commandment given unto me and never getting the blessings for them im sick of friends who cant notice how miserable i am all the time. im frustarded at the fact that the kid i freaken like is making life worse for me when i just want to be his friend. im sick of neevr having my prayers answers of ALWAYS looking on the freaken good side for everyone!! and get nothing back in return i want to be happy. i dont want to feel pain anymore. i want to be heard. out of the million people on earth im just one person whos voice isnt loud enough. i want to understand why i have to go through all this...... I have to admit, a LOT of what you said hit home with me. I know exactly how you feel, whether I feel it right now or have before. A lot of the above I feel at this moment, but at one point I've felt all of this. I know how you feel. I hope that things get better for you!
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Post by Sayari's other half on Dec 9, 2009 13:51:56 GMT -5
Wow..I thought I had problems lol,never gonna think that again.Ok I lie,but still.
The thing is,I'm glad you feel better^_^ I like you Andrew I think you're really cool btw ;D but a lot of those things you can change.No one else,but YOU.Stopped doing family prayer?then go wake your mom and dad up each morning and pray with them.see what happens.Take your scriptures to the table and read,read aloud maybe.
Life is really hard.It gets harder.but you know,what you do,what you wear..it's what makes you who you are.I think it's really awesome that you compliment your friends.It's really rare to find a guy your age who will do that.And it's a really good attribute.
And you know..it's not too late to learn to play the violin.I'd love to learn myself I think it's amazing.
You just have to be positive ^_^
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Post by Erik Slack on Dec 9, 2009 16:56:40 GMT -5
I hate reading the word hate so much
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Post by Jayda on Dec 9, 2009 18:24:26 GMT -5
I never say hate (unless talking about a situation or inanimate object) because I don't want to say it about someone and something happen and regret it. That's one of the things I live by - never say hate.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Dec 9, 2009 20:10:39 GMT -5
I never say hate (unless talking about a situation or inanimate object) because I don't want to say it about someone and something happen and regret it. That's one of the things I live by - never say hate. That's an interesting way of looking at it!
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Post by Jayda on Dec 9, 2009 23:02:17 GMT -5
I never say hate (unless talking about a situation or inanimate object) because I don't want to say it about someone and something happen and regret it. That's one of the things I live by - never say hate. That's an interesting way of looking at it! Thanks Plus, it helps that I always try and see the bright side of things and try not to think negatively of people. Of course, I have major flaws, so that doesn't always work out, but I never say hate. I can't stand it when people say that word! Mostly when they're talking about someone. I can't stand that. I always tell them not to say it, because it just makes me upset and mad, honestly xD
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Dec 9, 2009 23:16:56 GMT -5
That's an interesting way of looking at it! Thanks Plus, it helps that I always try and see the bright side of things and try not to think negatively of people. Of course, I have major flaws, so that doesn't always work out, but I never say hate. I can't stand it when people say that word! Mostly when they're talking about someone. I can't stand that. I always tell them not to say it, because it just makes me upset and mad, honestly xD My big pet peeve is swearing! I don't like it in conversation or in print........and I'll actually mark the words out with a black marker when I see them in a book that I own.
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Post by Jayda on Dec 9, 2009 23:25:19 GMT -5
My big pet peeve is swearing! I don't like it in conversation or in print........and I'll actually mark the words out with a black marker when I see them in a book that I own. I know its bad, but I don't mind that so much. Perhaps its because I used to swear a lot. I've kicked the habit (it came along during my rebellious stage when I was distant from the church, though I went every week) but I still don't mind it. The only words I really do flinch at are the f-word, n-word, and the words that rank up there with those two. Otherwise I don't mind it. Is that horrible?
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Dec 9, 2009 23:54:42 GMT -5
My big pet peeve is swearing! I don't like it in conversation or in print........and I'll actually mark the words out with a black marker when I see them in a book that I own. I know its bad, but I don't mind that so much. Perhaps its because I used to swear a lot. I've kicked the habit (it came along during my rebellious stage when I was distant from the church, though I went every week) but I still don't mind it. The only words I really do flinch at are the f-word, n-word, and the words that rank up there with those two. Otherwise I don't mind it. Is that horrible? Well, I look at human speech as a special gift from God. The lower animals on the planet may have a limited number of sounds that they can use for communication, but it is man alone that possesses this vast array of vocabulary words. Now I ask you how you would feel about giving someone a gift yourself and they abused that gift? Let's say that you bought them a gun for personal protection and they used it to rob a bank and they killed several people! So I see human speech as this special gift from God and when it is abused......I feel it's like slapping God in the face with his gift to us!
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Post by Erik Slack on Dec 10, 2009 10:48:44 GMT -5
My big pet peeve is swearing! I don't like it in conversation or in print........and I'll actually mark the words out with a black marker when I see them in a book that I own.
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Post by Jayda on Dec 10, 2009 12:11:07 GMT -5
I know its bad, but I don't mind that so much. Perhaps its because I used to swear a lot. I've kicked the habit (it came along during my rebellious stage when I was distant from the church, though I went every week) but I still don't mind it. The only words I really do flinch at are the f-word, n-word, and the words that rank up there with those two. Otherwise I don't mind it. Is that horrible? Well, I look at human speech as a special gift from God. The lower animals on the planet may have a limited number of sounds that they can use for communication, but it is man alone that possesses this vast array of vocabulary words. Now I ask you how you would feel about giving someone a gift yourself and they abused that gift? Let's say that you bought them a gun for personal protection and they used it to rob a bank and they killed several people! So I see human speech as this special gift from God and when it is abused......I feel it's like slapping God in the face with his gift to us! Wow, very interesting way of putting it! I never thought of it like that before.
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Post by ldsgirl Aka Sayari on Dec 10, 2009 21:35:55 GMT -5
Well, I look at human speech as a special gift from God. The lower animals on the planet may have a limited number of sounds that they can use for communication, but it is man alone that possesses this vast array of vocabulary words. Now I ask you how you would feel about giving someone a gift yourself and they abused that gift? Let's say that you bought them a gun for personal protection and they used it to rob a bank and they killed several people! So I see human speech as this special gift from God and when it is abused......I feel it's like slapping God in the face with his gift to us! Wow, very interesting way of putting it! I never thought of it like that before. Thanks Jayda!
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Post by shadow on Dec 17, 2009 19:46:17 GMT -5
I feel like crying... I hate the stuff Im addicted to and I hate it that my mom wont let me talk to the bishop...
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Post by Erik Slack on Dec 17, 2009 21:22:06 GMT -5
How come she won't let you talk to him?
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Post by Sayari's other half on Dec 18, 2009 5:42:54 GMT -5
Technically she can't stop you talking to him.How about talking to a home teacher or YM leader?
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Post by shadow on Dec 18, 2009 16:41:27 GMT -5
she has just told me not to talk thats it, she says I dont need help
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Post by hockeydude on Jan 5, 2010 19:51:00 GMT -5
she has just told me not to talk thats it, she says I dont need help I can... kind of see a point why she would say that...? If you don't feel comfortable saying what you're addicted to, I by all means understand, but if you're addicted to raisins (I know raisins likely isn't what you're addicted to, I'm just using it as an example) then it might be something you can sort out without the Bishop. But if it's anything you consider serious, drugs or images or anything where you have any kind of prompting, then get in there and talk to him, I don't care what your mom says. If that's the way she wants to be then go in without her knowing. I don't understand why she would say that.
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Post by drcocapep on Mar 22, 2010 15:53:18 GMT -5
yeah I totally agree with hockeydude if you need to talk to the bishop, go talk to the bishop. From my experience talking to someone about your addiction helps ease the burden that you carry everyday, talking to god helps a lot to.
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